Week Eight: #44 – Men In Black

The Nitpicker Guide to the Movies
“See the films you love in a whole new way!”
“Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew that the Earth was the center of the universe.  Five hundred years ago everybody knew that the Earth was flat, and fifteen minutes ago you knew that people were alone on this planet.  Imagine what you’ll know…tomorrow.”  Hmm.  Right now everybody knows that global warming is a terrible threat to our environment.  But we couldn’t be wrong about that, could we?  (Do yourself a favor, after this blog go read Michael Crichton’s State of Fear.  Then start asking for more proof than what we’re being given!)
-0:07:01 “D, shoot him!”  Good thing for dumb border patrol guy that the alien running right for him doesn’t run very fast–K allows thirteen seconds to go by before he finally decides to take Mikey down.
-0:07:52            Continuity error.  K is explaining the Neuralyzer.  Long shot has the device by his ear, but when we cut to a closeup it’s down at his shoulder
-0:10:51 After Officer Edwards collars the fugitive, the guy pulls out a complicated yet fragile firearm.  Where was this gun when he was being chased?  What is the point of a gun that explodes and disappears if you happen to drop it?
-0:12:25 Maybe Edwards got out of the Academy too soon.  The fugitive blinks cat-like eyelids, proving himself to be somehow unique, even strange.  In this situation, it seems odd that a trained, hardened New York police officer would lower his weapon (even a couple of inches)!
-0:16:04 The bug in the Edgar suit pushes his spaceship out of the hole–later we learn this is really a giant cockroach alien.  How did he fit in that small ship?  (Or into Edgar’s skin, while I’m on the subject?)
-0:33:25 Edgar drives into town with his new exterminator truck.  The one that has his spaceship in the back.  Apparently he either had the ability to make the truck bigger or the spaceship smaller, because when we saw him loading the thing earlier, it wouldn’t fit that well.  But he’s an alien, so maybe he can do that.
-0:34:56 To emphasize the coolness and uniqueness of the MiB facility, there’s a human in the background walking on a walkway upside-down.  Is there any purpose behind him doing that, or does it just look cool?  (Hate to be the new guy–“Okay, Larry, today’s upside-down day for you…”)
-0:35:27 “Don’t touch that!”  Edwards hits the Superball-type deal and it bounces around wreaking havoc.  After containment, K explains that the device previously caused a blackout.  Why is this thing out in the open where anybody can smack into it?
-0:37:20 Is it just MiB field agents whose names are reduced to a letter?  Does that mean there are a maximum of 26?  What would they have done if there already was a J?  (Also, J’s locker is between G and D.  Why aren’t the lockers alphabetized?)
-0:43:32 J is practicing his ninja skills.  At 43:18, we look at K as he leans on the car window.  Cut to the pulled-over alien, then back to K–and J (Smith) is suddenly standing a few feet behind him in plain view!  There is enough time for him to have tiptoed daintily into position…
-0:49:58 The dead Arquellian Majesty rides into the morgue, complete with cat.  Wait–complete with cat?  If somebody walking their dog drops dead of a heart attack, does the dog really go with them to the morgue?
-0:52:00 For a third time K breezes into a situation, claiming to be someone, (first INS, then FBI, now Dept. of Public Health) without showing credentials.  I’ll buy that working with a scared farmwife, but saavy Dr. Weaver?  No way
-0:56:08 Saavy Dr. Weaver becomes blasé Dr. Weaver.  “You guys aren’t really from the department of health, are you?”  She just saw a man’s head open up to reveal a tiny alien, and this is what she’s on about?
-0:56:49 The sunglasses make a difference with the Neuralyzing, right?  Maybe not, because J does not have his on when K does the flashy-thing for a second time.  And how come the effect wore off so fast with Dr. Weaver?  Because they Neuralyze her so often?
-0:57:48 K said the bugs have “unlimited strength.”  For a being with unlimited strength, Edgar sure has a hard time getting the diamond case open
-1:02:35 Wow, they work fast in New York!  Edgar parks his bug truck on the sidewalk and smashes into the jewelry store.  Twenty seconds later a tow truck has already picked up his vehicle!
-1:06:40 We didn’t hear footsteps, and last time we saw K he was on the far side of the Ford…but suddenly he’s leaning on the countertop next to Frank!  Ninja skills!
-1:11:40 Edgar is holding Dr. Weaver hostage while J thinks she’s flirting with him.  The alien wearing his Edgar suit is only a few feet away–granted J can’t see the creature, hidden under the table, but I would expect the smell of this guy to be noticeable for miles around…
-1:17:20 K turns the corner in the tunnel and there’s traffic up ahead.  At the speed they’re traveling I would guess they have about four seconds before a serious rear-end collision.  K tells J to hit the button, he does, and the transformation begins, and fourteen seconds later they clear the traffic.  The button apparently slows down time!
-1:19:00 The Will Award: how about that?  The World’s Fair towers, which are really disguised spaceships, are still operational!  You can climb right up the tower and into the ship, and it opens without any security protocol whatsoever!  Gee–I would have expected the government to decommission those some time ago…
-1:21:28 We have maybe six minutes before the Arquellians destroy the earth.  Yet our stalwart MiB agents calmly wait while the spacecraft ramp comes down, and they don’t shoot the incredibly dangerous Edgar bug the moment it shows its hideously ugly face.  Why?  Due process of alien law?
-1:22:09 Edgar starts ripping his human suit off.  The boys just stand there.  Shoot him!!
-1:27:12 The top half of the bug comes back for revenge, and just before it chomps on J, Dr. Weaver blows the thing apart.  So she saw the bug coming, picked up a weapon which fortunately didn’t need to be cocked because there’s no sound of her doing so…she might have wanted to say “Heads up!” or “Fore!” or something…
-1:27:39            Another nice feature of the Ford the MiB agents drive is the auto-valet service!  These two were sprayed with giant cockroach not too long ago, yet by now their suits (and faces) are nice and clean!  Too bad Dr. Weaver didn’t get the same treatment.  Maybe there’s no backseat setting?
Seen the newest Bond movie?  Then you should be really excited for some 007 nitpicking…Casino Royale, up next week!  (Hungry for more nits right now?  Head over to www.slipups.com for all the best!)
See you in seven…

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